Waiting Out
by CJCollective
Summary: Another take on what happened between Episode 3 and 4


_**We at Mumsnet have been completely drawn in by the recent Our Girl series and everything Molly Dawes/Captain James. We felt frustrated at the time lapse between episodes 3 and 4, at which point it was apparent to the viewers that Molly and the Captain had admitted their attraction to each other but had agreed to "wait out". All we had seen was Captain James resting his forehead against Molly's in the final scene at the hospital in episode 3. As a group, we agreed there was so much left unsaid on screen that we wanted to try and fill in the missing details between the two.**_

_**We have kept within the plot lines so that our two alternative chapters fit neatly (we think) between episodes 3 and 4.**_

_**It is our first foray into the world of fanfiction. A few of us have joined forces to write these chapters and if you like them, it may well inspire us to do more.**_

_**The characters belong to Tony Grounds and the BBC although we really wish they did belong to us!**_

As the hospital bed carrying Sohail disappeared through the double-doors of the ward, and the urgent voices of the medical staff gradually became fainter, Captain James raised his head to look directly into Molly's eyes. He still held her face in his comforting hands. He wanted to stay like this, to hold her here and keep her safe from harm, but at the back of his mind the nagging concern that had restrained him all these months would not be silenced. He slowly, unwillingly, released her, his eyes never leaving her face. Her beautiful green eyes, shining with fresh tears, gazed questioningly at him. She was looking to him for an answer to the bewildering events that had just unfolded.

"Dawes," he smiled, hesitantly and bit his lip, a habit of his since boyhood and a small outward sign that he was uncertain of himself.

"We need to talk."

Where? We can't talk here, can we?"

"We'll have to go to my quarters. Follow me round."

It was all he could do not to hold her and to comfort her but it was too risky and he was stern faced, desperately reining in all his emotions, as they went back to his quarters. Molly sniffed and tried to wipe away her tears so that none of Two Section could tell what had just passed between their captain and medic.

Captain James opened the door and pushed Molly in ahead of him. She looked round, taking it all in, the neat and orderly paperwork on the desk, his clothes all on hangers, and everywhere there was that musky, manly smell she had come to love. The time before when she had been in his quarters, the night when he had given her the words to the duet they were about to sing, it was dark and she had in fact been caught unawares when he shouted of her. It was also the night he first called her "Dawsey" and when she had started to wonder if her attraction towards him was in fact being reciprocated.

"What are we going to do Boss? I don't think I can go on much longer like this. I've already admitted to you how I feel and I am scared I can't hide it much longer from the rest of the Section."

Captain James sighed and dragged his hands through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck. "It's against all army regulations Molly, you know that, but I'm finding it hard to control my feelings towards you. I can't even look at you without wondering who's noticed me. Kinders is a bit more perceptive than you would think! And I was sure Dangleberries knew something was up when we were singing the duet and he was playing the keyboard."

Molly just stared at him, almost unable to comprehend that he was saying he was just as attracted to her as she was to him.

"I think if we can hang on till we finish this tour, I will speak to my CO, tell him how I feel and then when we get home, one of us will have to be assigned elsewhere. If we can wait out, I think we can sort this easily and still be together." He bit his lip again uncertainly, waiting for Molly's agreement, hoping and praying that he'd said the right thing. She was an unpredictable little madam and he couldn't be sure he'd handled this right.

Not speaking before she moved, Molly reached up and kissed him full on the lips.

Her lips pressed against his. God they felt good. Soft and warm with a promise that would make everything right. His heart beat faster as he mustered all his self control, gently raising his arms to Molly's shoulders and pushing her away.

"No Dawes" he whispered. "We can't, we have to wait out."

The look of hurt on her face nearly made a mockery of his words. Her eyes, still swollen from the tears she had shed in the hospital filled with tears once more. "Yes Boss."

She slowly turned away and reluctantly headed for the door. He felt as if his very soul was being pulled from his body with each slow step she took away from him.

"Dawes, wait."

She turned quickly, those fathomless green eyes staring intensely into his. He almost lost himself in their depths, like a swimmer succumbing to a deep, warm ocean current.

"Be strong. There will be time enough when this is over. There are so many things I want to say, so much I want to share, but not now. Trust me... "

The hurt hit him in the gut. Her kiss had been so tentative and promised so much.

"We have to wait out as that is what I must do." He pulled her close and lifted her chin. He bit his lip in contemplation and looked deep into her eyes. " Believe me. I will be counting the days until we touch down in Brize and I can be the ones to kiss your lips."

Molly gulped with the sincerity of those words. She had never met a man like the Boss before and she was coping on the surface but treading deep water below.

There was a knock at the door. "Boss?"

"Kinders"

"All OK boss?"

"Yes. It doesn't look good for Sohail, Dawes just needed 5. Can you show her to her quarters?"

"Sure boss. Ready Dawes?"

Molly got to her feet, gave her face one last swipe and looked up. Her eyes shone as she looked at the captain. "Thank you sir" she tried to communicate everything she needed to say in those 3 words.

She followed Kinders across the patch of dust they called the parade ground. He lead them past the women's quarters and towards the men's. "Erm, Eggy, ain't I in with the women now?"

"Afraid not Dawes. They've rationalised the quarters and the women's are full. You'll be bunking with the lads for now. We'll try and move you if a space comes up. You coped at the FOB ok, and it's only for a few weeks."

Molly sighed. She usually loved being one of the lads but after months of close quarters with them she had been looking forward to spending time with Jackie and some other women. Plus at Bastion she wouldn't have her med tent to retreat to when 2 section started to grate on her nerves.

"This is you. Get settled in. PT session at 0530 tomorrow" said Kinders, holding the tent flap open. Molly looked around. The tent was a tip. Packs open and kit flung everywhere. She couldn't make out which bunks were taken and which were free.

"Lost again, Molls?" Said Brains, looking up from his letter.

"No you numpty, I'm in with you lot, women's quarters are all full." she replied. "If one of you twats asks for a pop tart, I'll shave your eyebrows off in your sleep"

"Yay, you're one of the stags." said Baz, making stag horns with his hands and mooing.

"Stags don't moo, you bell end" said Brains.

"Well what noise do they make?"

"Dunno, but they don't fucking moo."

"Stags? Reindeer more like. Mansfield can be Rudolf next time he forgets his factor 50" replied Molly. "Now which bunk is mine?"

"I think Smurf saved that one next to him" said Baz, "no funny business, we'll be watching" He made kissing noises and waggled his eyebrows.

"I love Christmas" said Mansfield.

"Of course you do; you're the Virgin Mary" piped up Dangles.

As a scuffle broke out between them Molly sank onto her camp bed and sighed.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Stirrings began in Two Section's tent, exactly thirty minutes before morning PT at 0530. Molly glanced at her bleary-eyed compatriots as they grumbled their way out of bed. She'd been ready for a couple of hours - PT kit this time; they were on the soft slide now that they'd returned to Bastion, although Captain James and Kinders had made certain yesterday that they'd remembered they were still the British army, by putting them through a punishing 10k run in the unrelenting Afghan heat.

The physical exertion helped. She hadn't been able to sleep most of the night - first she'd had a nightmare, filled with Sohail's staring, glassy dead eyes, seeing herself being shot by the Taliban after Sohail had given her up, and then bleeding out in the dust as Captain James screamed at her to stay the fuck with him.

Captain James. After the nightmare had passed and she'd woken to find herself lying there on her camp bed in between Smurf and Dangles, the night punctuated by the occasional snort and scratch, she'd wished for sleep to overtake her again so she could dream of him, but instead she'd started worrying.

Captain James. Brown, warm eyes filled with the things that perhaps shouldn't have been said, but were out in the open now between the two of them. she'd found herself drowning in the embrace of Captain James' gaze.

_I love you_.

_Army regulations forbid it, so I am NOT pulling you close, Molly. I am not sliding my hands under that plait of yours and pulling your face up to kiss you. I am not allowed to take you somewhere and make love to you in every possible way._

_If you can wait for me, I can wait for you._

Molly shuddered with the hot flush of recollection. She knew she'd been overwhelmed with the sheer emotion of knowing that she'd cheated death, but the force of his conviction - and yes, admission of love for her - had had her insides in knots, although he'd barely touched her. The atmosphere between them had been so charged she'd had goosebumps, and she'd felt the rest of her body responding to him - she'd only just been able not to fall into him and bury her face in the musky comfort of his broad chest. How the hell was she going to make sure no one discovered what had happened between them? She flushed again at the thought of how unguardedly she had left her own heart open when they'd been approaching that tarp in the road and all that she would have offered him if he'd chosen to take it from her.

_Nothing is stronger than army regulations._ Despite the physical restraint, his thoughts had found expression through words that had stripped away his rank, their situation, the uncertainty of the months at the FOB.

"Molls, you ok?"

She started.

"Shit, Smurf. Sorry, I was miles away."

"PT at 0530, make sure you're hydrated. Don't think bossman's gonna give us an easy ride today either."

"Yeah, alright mate. I'm ready."

She exited the tent ahead of the rest of Two Section and stopped short as she came face to face with Captain James.

They stared at each other for a long moment.

He bit his lip before a half-laugh escaped him.

"Dawes. I have to say, I only saw you six hours ago, but you're a sight for sore eyes."

He smiled at her, an intimate look passing between them, and suddenly the worry left her. They'd make this work. They'd wait out.


End file.
